Crying on Your Birthday

Dear Fellow Bloggers and Blog Readers, (you're all my friends)

I've been feeling a little down lately. For personal reasons, (and to protect a fellow blogger), I don't want to say why. It's been a hard few days. My deceased grandfather's birthday was a few days ago. Yesterday, I played, 'If I Die Young', and it reminded my dad of him. Not to mention, I'm starting school in a week. I'm excited to starting writing class again, but like always, I don't want summer to end.

But I'm not going to talk about that. I'm going to talk about one of my haunting memories.

The reason I'm posting about this is because I just read the lyrics to a song I knew a little bit about. Some of you might have heard of the popular show, Victorious. Though it has ended, I listened to a song by them. It's called 'Here's 2 Us'.  When I first heard it, I didn't really get the point of it. But when I watched a lyric video, I understood. It's about forgetting your mistakes and making the best of what you have... in this case... you're broke.

I'm guilty of being a con. I pretend to be someone I'm not. I pretend to be someone for my best guy friend. Sometimes, I even pretend me to someone else for my best friend. The only person I don't have to pretend to be someone else is my sister, Ellie.

But really, Jesus knows who I am. He knows the people I'm trying to be too. I can't be a con for Jesus, but He knows everything about me.

So, the reason I bring the song up is because I heard one particular line, I thought, 'Wow! That totally relates to me'. To be honest, the song is a little weird, but I love the chorus.

Here’s to never winning first place
Here’s to crying on your birthday
Here’s to every single heartbreak
Here’s to us
Here’s to us

Once I heard that 'crying on your birthday' line, it shocked me, but it made me realize something.

Alright, I will admit, I have cried on my birthday. Not because I was happy, but because I was sad. It wasn't my happiest moment. But I never told anyone. Mostly because it was such a dark moment in my life I mean, crying on your birthday. That's pretty sad. I regret it, and I don't like to talk about it. Why would anyone want to write a song about crying on their birthday?

But I've come to a point where I've realized that every moment in your life leads up to something. It builds who you are. I understand what this song is trying to say. We've all had our dark moments.. We tear ourselves apart for because of it.

But we have a choice. We can either beat ourselves up whenever we think of those moments or we could we could move on. Both options shape who we are. This song also says, "Here's to the mistakes/Somehow they put you in the right place."

Because all of the trials that we go through, all the mistakes we make, shape who we are. We can write a 'woe is me' song or we can right song like this. We could either let it have a positive affect on us or a negative effect. We can rejoice in our failures and our dark moments.

How? Why?

Well, that's the part that this song missed.

Because God has forgiven us and made us new. Look at you before you were a Christian. Look at you before you rededicated your life to God.

Now look at you now.

You've come a long way, haven't you? Well, I'm here to tell you that God carried you all the way.

Think about it. Jesus didn't say 'woe is me' in the garden. I'm sure he was sad, but He didn't feel sorry for himelf. Instead, He obeyed God.

I'm not going to forget I cried on my last birthday. I doubt I ever will. But I'm not going to wince at the memory anymore. Because we can either sing 'woe is me', or we can make the best out of what we're working with.

In Christ,
Sarah