Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Help Me to Die

Hello, blogging world! I wrote this poem during Super Summer and totally forgotten I'd written it. But I looked it over again and realized it was a good enough poem to publish. I wrote about my own walk with God and how I desperately need Him to influence my desires.

Yesterday, I thought nothing could cave me in.
But today, I'm ruined, stuck in sin.
I still can't believe I ever thought that
I could do it by myself.
You're my only hope
Through all my doubts
Oh, Lord set me free
From all my insecurities
Let me lead
A life that will be true to you
Please be
All I see
In a world with so many worthless things
Please hear my desperate cry.
Help me to live for You
But first, help me to die.
It's harder than it sounds--dying to yourself so you could live for God. But with God, it is possible. I hope you like this poem!:)

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Who We Are... Now

"Remember not the things of old. Do not dwell in the past. See, I am doing a new thing. Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?" Isaiah 43:18-19a.

Isn't it strange how caught we can be with different stages of our lives? We're always thinking about who we were, who we fear we'll become, or who we need to be. It's either past or future, but never present.

Being a high school sophomore, every now and then I am reminded that college is only three years away and I need to make sure my transcript looks good enough to apply for a scholarship. Recently, I was also reminded of how I should have spent more time doing history at school so I could get a college credit. It's all about what I should have done, or what I need to do.

Through all of that, I think we forget to enjoy who we are now. Just think about it. We are young. We have a whole life ahead of us, thousands of new experiences to attain. Our physical and mental state is constantly changing month by month, year by year. We will only be who we are now--in this stage of life--once before life starts to change again.

Lately, I feel like I'm stuck in a quiet stage of life since my mom has been recuperating from knee replacement surgery. She can't drive so we've only been out of the house three times this past week. It's definitely a sudden switch-up from the business of the school semester and summer.

But God reminded me last night. He is always working new things in my life, whether I think so or not. Sure, it can get boring and definitely challenging at times, but I have to trust that He has a plan. Because I know without a doubt that He does.

That's why we should enjoy where we are in love now. God is teaching us something new every day. He has worked out a specific plan for all of us and we are experiencing it right now. It's amazing when you think about it. There have times in the past few weeks when I wasn't sure how anything to work out. But every day, I see God, putting hope and love, into my life.

Thank you for your patience with me and thanks for reading.

WAIT: Last night, Ellie and I got to see ROYAL TAILOR in concert! They were beyond amazing. We met them and took pictures. They put on a great show, one that I'll never forget. It was so much fun and I'm thankful to God for allowing us to go.
The sky could fall
The ground could shake
The stars burn out
And seasons change
The time will pass
And beauty fade
But all my love will remain

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Hello Again: Updates and Poems

Hey guys. It's been a long time. Most of it I have a good excuse for, but some of it, I don't. But I'm back now and I think I'm here to stay. Fresh start. I hope you guys are having a great summer!

 Two weeks from now, Ellie and I went to Super Summer, (Ellie's first overnight camp). It was an amazing experience. Super Summer challenged us to put God as the focus of our lives, as well as to be bold in sharing our faith. I could talk about that for a long time. So maybe I'll write a blog post about it later.

This Monday, my mom had knee replacement surgery. She's home now and doing great. The whole thing has put our busy summer to a hold, which I am thankful for. I need a break, peeps. Now I have more time to be on blog.

Well, Ellie and I just got back from babysitting at a homeschool conference. 3-5 year olds are adorable, but they tire you out. I'm going to go crash, but before I leave, I'll share the poem I couldn't find when I had to write my last post.

Story Behind the Poem: This poem is a tad bit personal, since I was thinking about a real relationship in my life. I have a friend who got busy and didn't talk to me that much. As a result of my own sensitivity, I felt cold when we finally texted. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I wanted this relationship to last and go back the way it was. It made me guilty about it and I later apologized to her.

So here I am
At the end of the cycle again
It's been awhile, but I'm not afraid
Please let me back in.
Maybe you were right.
Maybe I was wrong.
To be honest, I don't know.
It doesn't matter anymore.
Could we go back to where were?
Or maybe where we began?
I thought I moved on,
But here I am,
"Hello" to you again.