Sunday, January 29, 2017

You're Not Alone

Hello. It's me again. I've decided to truly return to blogging.  I know I've said this a lot, but I really do mean to stay on this time. Thank you to everyone who commented on my last Hamilton post. Writing that was so much fun, just because I feel so passionately about that musical. Maybe that's what I need to do to stay committed; write what I'm passionately about.

I almost wish I could say my life was going "same old, same old", but the truth is, it's not. And I'm not quite sure how I feel about that. We've been going to a new church, which is probably the best change I've experienced. The people there are... amazing. I've learned so much about life, about Jesus, about myself.

But on the other hand, change has really hurt me. Just late last year, we practically had to say goodbye to some friends I'd basically grown up with. And it still hurts, thinking about them. It was one of those things that you never want to change, but you know it will, eventually. When it finally did, I didn't know what to do. It's gotten better; I've made new friends. But I still feel a little empty every now and then.

But of course, the biggest problem of all might be that I don't know who I am. I thought I did--I was so sure--but now I don't. Now, I really don't know anything. I thought I knew what I wanted to do, what I wanted to write, who my best friends were, what the future would be like.

But I don't.

However, I'm working on it. I just started on my first solo writing project for the first time in years. I feel pretty sure about this one, if not the only thing I'm sure about. Things have changed, I might not know where I'm going or who I am, but I know some things stay the same. I still write, just not as much. I adore music with my every breath, even more now. I love my family; I love the friends I have. Maybe that's enough to get me by for now.

So I'm just guessing here, but you might be like me. You might not know where you're going with your life or if anything is going to work out. But it's ok, believe me. You'll figure it out. That's what I'm sure of, by the grace of God, I will figure it out.

You're not alone.