Sunday, May 7, 2017

Isn't it Funny How....?

Isn't it funny how Hamilton kind of opened my eyes to how amazing the Broadway world is? I mean, not many people like musicals, but when it comes down to it, they really are the best pieces of art that the human mind can imagine. The music is genius and beautiful, the stories are life-changing, the characters are relatable. Through song.

You don't even have to go to a musical to experience it. You can just listen to the cast recording and picture the characters in your head.Isn't that... just, amazing?

This is currently one of my favorite musicals and songs... of all time. It's called "Waving Through a Window" from Dear Evan Hansen and it basically defines me. Even if you don't like musicals, chances are, you'll relate to this piece. Give it a try; trust me.
On the outside always looking in
Will I ever be more than I've always been?
'cause I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass
I'm waving through a window
I try to speak, but nobody can hear
So I wait around for an answer to appear....
While I'm watch, watch, watching people pass
Waving through a window.

Note: I'm about to get back on blogging soon, so stay tune for more posts. I have some cool ideas I can't wait to share with you?

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Don't Miss It

    Today, my best friend had a little get together for her birthday.. I can't remember why, but suddenly, we were talking about texting someone who is right beside you. Most of the girls said they do it all the time (and yes, I am guilty as well), but no one was scolded for it. Because, why? When cell phones were just coming out, that idea would have been pointless to most. Not so much anymore.

   My iPod has been slowly detereating. It has stopped working, one app at a time, haha. Sure, I do more than my fair share on my latop and Ellie's device, but outside of the house, I'm usually without technology. Honestly, it's truly opened my eyes to see how much we use it. I've seen even the cloest friends ever, sitting next to each other, staring at their screens.

   I've seen how it can affect people, especially if someone happens to be on social media. I love the idea of Instagram, but at times, it causes more problems than I can expect. Suddenly, I'm wishing my pictures were that perfect, longing for friendships I want but don't have, and getting a backstage pass to every get-together I wasn't invited to.

   I would be a complete hypocrite if I called for a technology boycott. But I do think we need to consider what we're missing out. We can think of every reason we want for why we text our friends when we're in the same room together, but let's face it: they're all excuses. Excuses that are keeping us from living our lives. Trust me, I know how useful texting can be. But if we do that more than we actually talk to people, our friendships won't be nearly as solid.

   Worse, they'll be artificial. Just like texting is. It's about as close you can get to the real thing, but it's not the same as talking, really talking. I might be able to read the words, but I can't hear my friend's voice. I can only guess if she's in a good mood or not. Recently, a good friend and I have fallen out of the habit of texting and when I see her in person, I feel distant from her. Sometimes, I scold myself. Is that all our friendship is worth?

   These thoughts remind me of a lady from our old church. I only talked to her a few times, but recently, she was diagnosed with sereve Parkinson's, so bad lost the ability to talk. I barely knew her, but my heart ached as soon as I found out. It made me feel terrible.  There, I was, shutting the world out and listening to music when I could be spending laughing with my family. And there was a lady I knew, who could never laugh again.

  So I challenge you and I challenge myself. Go out of your way this week, to spend time with people. Use your voice to laugh, to encourage others, to brighten someone's day. Think of it this way, if God wanted us just to communicate through a little device and keyboard, He would have made sure everyone had one. But He didn't. He gave us voices. Don't miss your chance to use yours.

So how has technology affected your life? Good stuff and bad stuff, just lay it all out. I'll be happy to chat with you :)
Thanks to everyone who read and commented on my last post, btw.

Sunday, March 12, 2017

5 Excuses Introverts Make to Avoid Conversations

I return to blogging to discuss a subject I know well: the topic of introvert-ness.

In truth, I wouldn't call myself a full-out introvert. Instead, circumstances have made me a "wanna-be extrovert" introvert. Makes a lot of sense, right? Last year, we started going to a new church. Though I love the church, it's forced me to make new friends (dun dun dun) and (worse) go up to people and start a conversation. "dramatic gasp" Now, we do "church things" about 3-4 nights a week on average.

Meaning: I have to be sociable on a regular basic. Of course, in my book, "sociable" actually means: sitting in a room full of people talking and trying to work up the courage to go to say hi to someone. Yeah, it's a struggle. My mind is basically in civil war because how can I be pretend to be a extrovert and stay true to my introvert self? Pretty much, I have a lot of conflicting thoughts in the process.

So I present to you: the Top 5 Excuses I Make to Myself in order to Avoid Conversations. Because, let's face it: being an introvert is hard. Working up the courage to talk to new people, keeping up conversations, ugh, it's tiring. If you're in a introvert, I'm sure you'll relate to some of these. And if you're of the other species (jk), maybe you'll understand us introverts a little better.

1. "I could go talk to Friend B right now. But I just had a long conversation w/ Friend A. I should probably hold it off. Don't want to overdo it here." *nervous laughter*
This is probably my go-to excuse because  I usually can keep up a long conversation with one good friend. Groups are a different story. And besides, there's nothing more satisfying to a awkward introvert than having a long, satisfying conversation with a friend where you actually enjoyed yourself.

2. *looks around the room and only sees one good friend sitting alone* "I could go talk to her, but I just remembered that I talked to her two days ago. Let's not; I don't want to be the annoying one."
No, I really don't.

3. "Look, there's five different friends I could be talking to right now. But why would I want to do that when I could be reading my book/playing the piano/writing that one thing?"
Like I said, our family spends a lot of time in church. Yes,  we're primarily listening to God's word being preached. But our second priority is talking to our friends. Also known as, my family talks to their friends and I sit there contemplating whether I should go to talk to my friends. Usually, I give in to this urge, but sometimes, it gets too much for my brain. Fortunately, there is a beautiful grand piano sitting on the stage that I wander up to and play while waiting for them. Because my piano at home does not sound that great, and you have to keep your priorities straight, peoples.

4. *debating over whether I should talk to that one person or not* "You know, I just remembered I have to do that one totally insignificant thing. Why don't I just do that now because that would be so much more fun than having an awkward conversation?"
About 85.962% of the conversations I avoid is because of my strong fear of awkwardness. It's a understood fear since I have to lead half of the conversations I get myself into. Which is much more difficult than it sounds, as I will explain in my final point.

5. "Yes, yes, I could go talk to several people right now and have a jolly good time. But what if they're feeling talkative and I have to lead the conversation and I don't know what to say and the silence goes on longer than 3.2 seconds?"
Goodness, I'm sweating just thinking about it. Silence, it makes me sick, especially when it's my fault. Despite that I'm a creative writer, I like to keep it safe. No need to make myself look stupid. Of course, my fear of awkwardness usually leads me into being awkward around my friends. I need a new strategy, obviously.

I've hoped you've enjoyed an exclusive backstage pass to my insecure little head. I've enjoyed getting honest with myself, haha. Anyways, do you make any of these excuses as an introvert? Or do you have different ways to avoid conversation? On the other hand, if you're an extrovert, how do you do it? Haha, I hope you guys take a moment to comment. I'm excited to get back on blogging and read what you have to say :) Creds to Ellie, for providing some awesome guitar music while I was writing this.

Sunday, January 29, 2017

You're Not Alone

Hello. It's me again. I've decided to truly return to blogging.  I know I've said this a lot, but I really do mean to stay on this time. Thank you to everyone who commented on my last Hamilton post. Writing that was so much fun, just because I feel so passionately about that musical. Maybe that's what I need to do to stay committed; write what I'm passionately about.

I almost wish I could say my life was going "same old, same old", but the truth is, it's not. And I'm not quite sure how I feel about that. We've been going to a new church, which is probably the best change I've experienced. The people there are... amazing. I've learned so much about life, about Jesus, about myself.

But on the other hand, change has really hurt me. Just late last year, we practically had to say goodbye to some friends I'd basically grown up with. And it still hurts, thinking about them. It was one of those things that you never want to change, but you know it will, eventually. When it finally did, I didn't know what to do. It's gotten better; I've made new friends. But I still feel a little empty every now and then.

But of course, the biggest problem of all might be that I don't know who I am. I thought I did--I was so sure--but now I don't. Now, I really don't know anything. I thought I knew what I wanted to do, what I wanted to write, who my best friends were, what the future would be like.

But I don't.

However, I'm working on it. I just started on my first solo writing project for the first time in years. I feel pretty sure about this one, if not the only thing I'm sure about. Things have changed, I might not know where I'm going or who I am, but I know some things stay the same. I still write, just not as much. I adore music with my every breath, even more now. I love my family; I love the friends I have. Maybe that's enough to get me by for now.

So I'm just guessing here, but you might be like me. You might not know where you're going with your life or if anything is going to work out. But it's ok, believe me. You'll figure it out. That's what I'm sure of, by the grace of God, I will figure it out.

You're not alone.