Renew My Desires

Lord, what I have is not enough

But still, I just can't give it up. 

I know you're everything I need.

But words are easier than deeds.

I am so selfish sometimes

Caring first about myself

Even though I keep it in

It's nothing less than sin

I need more than a little help.

Father, please drown me in your mercy
And quench the flames of my flesh
By myself, I can't get out of this mess
I'm trapped in a silly fantasy
But You are more than I can see.
So, by your grace,
Teach me to walk in your ways.
It is only with You I can inspire
And renew my desires.

Awhile back, I went through the motions often. I read my Bible every day, but it was more of a chore than a passion. I confessed my sins and prayed, but I did not have the relationship with God that I wanted to have. The problem was, as hard as I tried, I didn't have the desire to pray. I didn't want to study the Bible the way I should have. Honestly, I dwelled in it, not knowing what to do about it.

But I grew and I realized something. It's not me. By myself, I do not have the desire to do the things I had to do in order to learn from God. I would rather listen to music than memorize a Bible Verse. But I prayed for a long time that God would give the desire to do it, to feel the need for Him. I think I finally have that. He has given me the desire to walk with Him, a desire I could not possess without Him.

Thank you for reading. What has God shown you recently?