Thursday, January 22, 2015

Worth the Pain

This year, I might have mentioned that I'm writing a fantasy series with one of my best friends. Well, unlike last year, I've practically obsessed with it now. But through writing it, and remembering some of my own recent experiences, I've come to realize something.

It is too often the ones that we love the most are the ones that will hurt us the most.

This is a sad thing to realize, even something to be afraid of. But too many times, I believe it is true. Because it is with the ones that we love that we open our hearts to them. We give them the key that can unlock our worst and best, our true feelings, our worst flaws, just as they do with us.

Even more than that, we put our trust in the ones that love us. We let ourselves become vulnerable in front of them.  Desperately, we desire them  to always be there, to do what it is best for us. Since no one is perfect, they leave us unsatisfied. Of course, we fail them as well. And the cycle continues as our relationship with them changes seasons.

Do you see what I mean? Maybe, if you think about it, you know what I'm talking about. For it is usually the people we trust that end up being the ones that cause us pain. It's not just them either---it's us too.

The question is: What do we do about it?

But another thing we forget to realize is that we can't control it. We can't force our loved ones to make the right choices, to not make mistakes, to spare us the pain. We really can't. It's a hard thing for us to see because we naturally don't like things we can't control.

Think about it more. Do you see what we can control?

While explaining the inspiration behind "Shake it Off", Taylor said, "I’ve learned a pretty tough lesson that people can say whatever they want about us at any time, and we cannot control that. The only thing we can control is our reaction to that." So what is our reaction? Do we harden our hearts and become unforgiving to the people who break? Do we shut the world out and make a decision not to become close to anyone to save ourselves the sorrow?

Or do we choose to forgive? Can we be brave enough to get over the pain? The more I live life, open my heart up and then get hurt needlessly, I see how much we need people. We need friends and family, even though we set ourselves up for heartbreak. It would be a terribly lonely life without them. In fact, it would almost not be worth it to live at all.

That's why we need to forgive. We need to accept that no one is perfect and we will endure a great deal of suffer--both physical and emotional--during our lives. But through it all, loving people  and receiving their love is worth that pain, despite the sacrifice, is worth that pain.

You might wonder what this has to do with a fantasy series that I'm writing with my friend. Well, a relationship in that story is a lot like the one I just described to you. Writing about it has really made me think about this.

So what do you say? Do you think that opening up your heart is worth the exposure?


  1. This is so true! No human being is perfect, and so I think that we should be willing to open up our hearts to exposure. And I love that Taylor Swift quote, it's so true! We can't control anything other people do (and yeah, that's hard for us as humans to deal with sometimes) but we do control our reaction!
    Love this post, Sarah! One of my favorites from you :)

    1. Thank you! Yes, it's so true. One of the reasons I adore "shake it off" in fact. Thank you for the encouragement!

  2. Hi! I nominated you for the "You are Amazing and So is Your Blog Award"! Here is the link:
    Hope you have a great day!

    -Guinea Pig Lover from

  3. I nominated you for an award.


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