In truth, I wouldn't call myself a full-out introvert. Instead, circumstances have made me a "wanna-be extrovert" introvert. Makes a lot of sense, right? Last year, we started going to a new church. Though I love the church, it's forced me to make new friends (dun dun dun) and (worse) go up to people and start a conversation. "dramatic gasp" Now, we do "church things" about 3-4 nights a week on average.
Meaning: I have to be sociable on a regular basic. Of course, in my book, "sociable" actually means: sitting in a room full of people talking and trying to work up the courage to go to say hi to someone. Yeah, it's a struggle. My mind is basically in civil war because how can I be pretend to be a extrovert and stay true to my introvert self? Pretty much, I have a lot of conflicting thoughts in the process.
So I present to you: the Top 5 Excuses I Make to Myself in order to Avoid Conversations. Because, let's face it: being an introvert is hard. Working up the courage to talk to new people, keeping up conversations, ugh, it's tiring. If you're in a introvert, I'm sure you'll relate to some of these. And if you're of the other species (jk), maybe you'll understand us introverts a little better.
1. "I could go talk to Friend B right now. But I just had a long conversation w/ Friend A. I should probably hold it off. Don't want to overdo it here." *nervous laughter*
This is probably my go-to excuse because I usually can keep up a long conversation with one good friend. Groups are a different story. And besides, there's nothing more satisfying to a awkward introvert than having a long, satisfying conversation with a friend where you actually enjoyed yourself.
2. *looks around the room and only sees one good friend sitting alone* "I could go talk to her, but I just remembered that I talked to her two days ago. Let's not; I don't want to be the annoying one."
No, I really don't.
3. "Look, there's five different friends I could be talking to right now. But why would I want to do that when I could be reading my book/playing the piano/writing that one thing?"
Like I said, our family spends a lot of time in church. Yes, we're primarily listening to God's word being preached. But our second priority is talking to our friends. Also known as, my family talks to their friends and I sit there contemplating whether I should go to talk to my friends. Usually, I give in to this urge, but sometimes, it gets too much for my brain. Fortunately, there is a beautiful grand piano sitting on the stage that I wander up to and play while waiting for them. Because my piano at home does not sound that great, and you have to keep your priorities straight, peoples.
Like I said, our family spends a lot of time in church. Yes, we're primarily listening to God's word being preached. But our second priority is talking to our friends. Also known as, my family talks to their friends and I sit there contemplating whether I should go to talk to my friends. Usually, I give in to this urge, but sometimes, it gets too much for my brain. Fortunately, there is a beautiful grand piano sitting on the stage that I wander up to and play while waiting for them. Because my piano at home does not sound that great, and you have to keep your priorities straight, peoples.
4. *debating over whether I should talk to that one person or not* "You know, I just remembered I have to do that one totally insignificant thing. Why don't I just do that now because that would be so much more fun than having an awkward conversation?"
About 85.962% of the conversations I avoid is because of my strong fear of awkwardness. It's a understood fear since I have to lead half of the conversations I get myself into. Which is much more difficult than it sounds, as I will explain in my final point.
5. "Yes, yes, I could go talk to several people right now and have a jolly good time. But what if they're feeling talkative and I have to lead the conversation and I don't know what to say and the silence goes on longer than 3.2 seconds?"
Goodness, I'm sweating just thinking about it. Silence, it makes me sick, especially when it's my fault. Despite that I'm a creative writer, I like to keep it safe. No need to make myself look stupid. Of course, my fear of awkwardness usually leads me into being awkward around my friends. I need a new strategy, obviously.
I've hoped you've enjoyed an exclusive backstage pass to my insecure little head. I've enjoyed getting honest with myself, haha. Anyways, do you make any of these excuses as an introvert? Or do you have different ways to avoid conversation? On the other hand, if you're an extrovert, how do you do it? Haha, I hope you guys take a moment to comment. I'm excited to get back on blogging and read what you have to say :) Creds to Ellie, for providing some awesome guitar music while I was writing this.
